A Very Short Lived Romance
by HeyI'mTalkingToYou
Summary: One Shot. It's a beautiful day out, but Sirius and Remus are all alone in the commons. For hours. With nothing to do. What will they do? not really slash, just sort of weird.


Remus and Sirius, alone…together. Both are bored, so what do they do? You'll have to read my story to find out! Note: The Map is not done yet.

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Sirius dropped his quill on his parchment. "Well, my star map is officially a disaster."

Remus, who was sitting next to him, carefully folded up his parchment and stuck it in his bag. "I don't think my potions essay is going anywhere, either."

The two boys sat in silence for a moment or two, and then Remus glanced at his watch. "Where are they? I thought James said he and Peter would be back by now."

Sirius shrugged. "Who knows? Wanna go look for them?"

Remus shook his head. "No way. Remember what happened last time? We were wandering around the castle for an hour and a half, looking for James, and then it turned out he'd been here since five minutes after we'd left."

"Oh yeah. That was funny."

"No, it was dumb."

Aw, come on, Moony. You were just put out that we got a detention 'cause I hexed Bella."

Remus smiled. "_That_ was funny."

"She didn't look so bad in pink."

"Speaking of pink, what are you doing for your date with Rose?"

"We're not going on a date."

"You're not? Why?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dumped her."

"What? You haven't even gone on a date yet! That's, like, against all the rules of dating! Besides, it's just mean."

Sirius grinned rogueishly. "What can I say? I never have been one to follow trends. Besides, she can't kiss. It was either endure bad kissing for a week before I dumped her anyway for that Mimi girl in Ravenclaw, or dump her now."

Remus groaned. "That's so deep, Padfoot."

"I know, isn't it?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm going to finish my potions essay."

"You're such a bore, Remus. Maybe if you got a girlfriend…" Sirius trailed off and gave Remus a sidelong glance. "Have you _ever_ had a girlfriend?"

Remus mumbled something unintelligible about bezoars. Sirius gasped. "You've never had a girlfriend! What's wrong with you?"

Remus didn't answer.

"Have you ever even kissed a girl!"

Remus remained silent. Sirius jumped up. "Bloody hell, mate, why not?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Hello? Starts with an L, turns me into an absolute monster once a month?"

"Lily? You're in love with Lily! Oh my gosh."

"Do I have to spell it out for you? I. Am. A. Werewolf. Werewolves don't date."

"That doesn't start with an L. Besides, it shouldn't get in the way of a good snog every now and then."

Remus groaned. "Never mind."

"But you have to like somebody! Who is it? Tell me."

Remus gave Sirius a withering look. Sirius gasped and took a step back.

"Oh my god, Remus. You're giving me your I-love-you-with-all-my-heart-Sirius-and-now-I'm-going-to-snog-your-brains-out look. You're in love with _me_?"

"Yes, Sirius, that's right. I love you. Kiss me now or I will die."

"What!"

"That was sarcasm. Calm down, Sirius."

"Oh."

There was a very uncomfortable pause. Remus glanced at his watch again. "Where _are _they?"

"I dunno."

They both sat down at the couch again. Remus huddled over his potions essay, and Sirius took to drumming on the table.

"I'm bored."

"That's nice, Padfoot."

There was a pause, and Sirius looked around the empty room.

"I've never snogged a guy before."

"Neither have I."

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like, Moony?"

"Not really."

"I have. Does that make me gay or something?"

"I don't know."

Sirius glanced around the room again. "Hey, Moony, you wanna try it?"

Remus glanced up from his essay. "Try what?"

"You know."

Remus regarded him cautiously. "Are you feeling okay, Padfoot?"

"I mean, just as an experiment! Haven't you ever wondered?"

"Didn't you already ask that question?"

"Aw, come on. There's no one else here."

"Why don't we just play Wizard chess instead."

Sirius gave him a face. "Come on, just for kicks?"

"You have some weird kicks."

"Is that a yes?"

Remus glanced around the common room to make sure no one was there, then reluctantly nodded. "Okay," he muttered.

"Okay then."

Both boys eyed each other. "You do it."

"No, you do it."

"We'll both go at the same time."

"Okay."

They closed their eyes. "One, two, thr—"

They dove forward, and their lips connected. And quickly broke apart.

"Eew," said Remus.

"Blech. Well, I'm definitely straight," said Sirius.

"Me, too."

Sirius conjured a toothbrush and some toothpaste and began vigorously brushing his teeth while Remus scrubbed at his lips with the back of his hand.

"O-ay," said Sirius through a mouthful of paste, "we ewuh 'peak o' thif ageh."

"Amen to that."

Remus grabbed his stuff and glanced at his watch. "Oh, look, it's dinnertime already!" he said in an overly enthusiastic voice. "I think I'll go downstairs now!"

"Wait!" said Sirius, spitting into the fire. "I'll come too."

The boys practically ran out of the common room. The portrait hole slammed shut behind them.

James Potter stood up from behind an overstuffed chair in a dark corner, shoving a wizard camera into his pocket. He shushed Peter, who was shaking with laughter behind a nearby couch.

"We're never gonna let them forget this, are we?" gasped out Peter.

James grinned. "Never."


End file.
